THE RULE BOOK: THREE KEYS TO A SUCCESSFUL DATING LIFE
It’s natural to envy someone’s love life when you’re staying in with your cats every night. But did you ever think the reason you’re staying in with your cats every night is because you’re staying in with your cats every night? A big part of the dating process is putting yourself out there. Does that mean there’s a chance for failure? Of course it does, but if there’s no real risk, then there’s no real reward.
If you ask 10 different friends, chances are you’re going to receive 10 different answers on what you need to and should do to improve your dating life. Whether it’s hit the gym harder, bat your lashes more often, or laugh at his jokes a little longer, everyone has their own opinion on how to reel in the perfect man.
The truth is that you really only need to do three things to either start, improve, or perfect your dating life. No matter which stage of your love life you’re in, there are three rules you should always abide by.
Confidence is a fickle lady. She’s there for you when you have no need for her, and she hides her head when you want her around most. The trick to confidence is learning how to utilize it properly. By nature, people are attracted to confident people. Why? Well the most confident of people in history have been looked upon as heroes, leaders, providers, and general stars of life. And what do all those personality types have in common? They’re all people you want to be around!
It’s nearly impossible to maintain total confidence when you’re uncomfortable with something. Before you go on your date, make sure you’re prepared! Take time while getting ready so you’re not spending your time concentrating on how bad your hair looks instead of what your date is saying. Do a little research beforehand on their work industry, hobbies and interests so you can maintain a conversation while they’re sharing stories of their lifestyles. If you’re prepared and comfortable with a situation, then confidence will come naturally. If you’ve had an overly stressful day or simply aren’t in the mood to try and shine, reschedule the date! You’re better off giving yourself the chance to be on your A-game than you are showing up to a date with your mind still at home.
The better you feel about yourself, the more attractive you’re going to be to others!
Stay True To Your Personality
Going on a date with someone who ends up being the total opposite of you can be a sort of black hole. Opposites attract, but that’s only if they have the chance to actually be opposites first! A study conducted by human relation specialists in the phycology department of Pace University in New York, it was found that a staggering 80% of people, both men and women, fake their interests on a first date. Now this isn’t to say that daters lie about themselves, but it does prove that we adapt to things when it seems to be the easier option.
Confused? Look at it this way: If you were on a date with someone who loves soccer, you’d be more likely to start a conversation about soccer than you would about your favorite sport, baseball. When people learn of what other people are interested, they concentrate on that subject because they subconsciously assume that that particular subject would be more entertaining to them than a subject of their own interests.
Now talking about their interests and lifestyles is a great way to get to know someone, but it’s important to not lose yourself by concentrating on them. Instead of adapting to their interests and their personality, put an effort in to keep your true colors evident throughout the date. After all, it was your personality that got you the date in the first place!
Give An Effort
In a time where finding a date is as easy as logging into a computer and typing the words “We should meet up,” you’re more likely to end up with an average date instead of an excellent one. People have the expectation that they can show up at a date and have it be perfect, because if it’s not, there’s no sweat off their back– They can just move on to the next date.
If you go into a date with this mentality, you’re never going to be happy with your dating life. No matter how you obtained your date, whether it was through a friend or through a dating site, you should show up to it ready to give your 110%. If you strive for nothing less then great conversation and stimulating company, there’s a big chance that they’ll put the effort in to match your level.
From baking to painting to learning an instrument– it takes effort to do anything well, and the same mentality goes for dating. You need to try if you want to make it work!
If you stick to the three keys, you’ll realize how easy and enjoyable dating really is. Being single can be as annoying or as enjoyable as you let it be. The trick is to utilize the rules in a way that works best for you!